nebulous

frail was pining for the past.

frail, yet powerful.
twinges of sorrow never cease throwing arrows.
enlightened souls could feel the dark.

he had blinded her to everything but him.
her breath found an abode in his heart.

not having a second chance in hell of having each other,
they found comfort in the drops of pain.

he drank himself into nihility.
she was in oblivion.
                                  - Isha

epistle

August 3, 2016

I still have that ginger coloured friendship band.
you didn't have to write your name on it.

August 18, 2016

roses in a coil.
sheathed in your arms,
my eyes stared at this thread in perpetuity.

afraid.

afraid because I wanted more of us.

October, 18, 2018

breakfast with you in a fictional wooden sub was the best date ever, I swear.

December 3, 2014

you lied for me.
we were 9.

your benevolence enfeebled me.

September 21, 2017

we looked adorable as Cho and Harry. 

February 12, 2019

I crave to go back to the ice rink in New York.
we stumbled.

arms refusing to unravel.
my heart,
a slave to your charm.

February 14, 2019

so many paintings and pillars to look at, but I wished to gaze at you. 

you are a work of art.

enthralling me to obey the voice of my soul.

September 7, 2018

you sat next to me with eyes cemented to my lips.
I couldn't stand firm against my feelings.
my head and my heart were persistently at war.

October 29, 2018

this was our last Diwali together.

May 19, 2019

I cried myself to sleep.
the thought of losing you pinched my soul.

May 21, 2019

I was so used to loving you from afar.
trying to persuade myself,
that you were wrong for me in a billion delightful ways.

I couldn't resist you.

cheery,
I sway like a zephyr lily in the breeze.

                       
                                               - Isha

worn by the weather

she is swimming in an ocean of pain and sorrow.
she feels parlous when you stare at her with those malicious eyes.
she walks down the street with shuddering fear running through her veins.
yet, she smiles.

she was only eight when she was targeted by your nefarious intentions.
was it imperative?

she is in a sea.
a sea comprising shrieks and screams.
the waves keep thrusting her and
existence seems like a burden
because she grew up thinking we were equally sensible and equally half-witted.

ma asked her to cover herself up afraid of having her daughter's breasts ogled.
respect at stake.
clad in a sari,
yet all eyes glued to the tattoo on her collarbone.

that night, she was hoodwinked and hurled on his bed.
his unwanted grasp on her waist.
she did not want to.
he did it anyway.

she tried showing affection;
he threw her emotions into turmoil.
she whined; she groaned.

kept on beseeching.
to no avail.
her four year old heard her screeches.
he wept.

"do you think I enjoy being in agony?" she asked.
scared stiff to raise her voice.
bombarded with complaints.
his doltish character provoked her to slap him.

a truckload of exasperation, resentment and pain.
fuck the glass ceiling
fuck the smiling.
she yelled.
eventually, the undertones were audible.

taking a deep breath in, 

I belong to me.

to the shards of the mirror I threw a rock at. 

she roared.

              - isha

jitters

his face had the glimmer of a thousand diamonds reflecting under the sun.

he had the essence of a man like no other.

neon lights gleaming in the night;

pale feelings.

a tornado of thought;

a furious tempest.

he had her heart in this whorl.

he made her feel like she was under the sakuras during spring.

he was beautiful.

he made her heart run.

she hid in a jungle of dreams.

she knew he was the one.

     
                        - Isha

lost cassette

he asked me for a promise,
a promise i couldn't fulfill.
a promise so hard,

my screaming words got a chill.

forget butterflies,

he's like a flickering firework,

with even parts of exuberance and colour,

like the postcard from the hills,

like the music i dip my ears into every morning,

like the ambrosial petrichor emanating from drying grass,

like the novel i wish to read every evening.

forget fireflies,

he's mirth frolicking on the sand,

frolics coursing through each vein,

with too many tears pending,

and life slipping through fingers like rain.

i guess y'all wished for elements giving rise to a happy recital,

wanting to give him oceans in rolled-down windows,

watching his tired, ill at ease heart, chase the horizon,

where rests all that no one loved of him.

i gave it a shot but lost the first draft.

withering with the weight of goodbyes,

not making the promise made me miss him more,

i couldn't trick myself into smiling again,

for his presence i'd just adore.
   
                                         - isha.